Cynically Through Space and Time Episode One
by Kuriamo22
Summary: Daria and Jane run across a mysterious blond girl and a strange Englishman in Lawndale.
1. Chapter 1 - Magnesium? Kids these days

May 20th, 2000

One thousand miles above North America a flash of light appeared in the blackness of space. Emerging from the flash of white light was a grey sphere approximately six feet in diameter. Caught in Earth's gravity well and with no forward momentum, it immediately started to fall. Inside the capsule sat a slim blond women with the looks of a 20 year old. She noticed a message on a display which said "Jump Complete". She smiled at it, and looked in a mirror to check her make up. She then glanced at the planet below her through a small triangular window and then uttered in a very non human voice "The Earth is so blue."

Lt. Johnson looked at his computer screens, which showed the nation's air defense radars and satellites, with tired bored eyes. Johnson had just spent the last eight hours defending America by cataloguing space junk and keeping an eye out for missiles. The radars they use tracked things the size of a quarter half way to the moon. He was about to pack it in when something new showed up on the screen. He saw that an object had appeared in high orbit, and was accelerating toward the planet. "Hmm" he thought, "approximately 6 feet in diameter and descending over the state of Maine. Surprised it wasn't spotted by the computer earlier." The computer determined based on its trajectory that it originated from deep space and not any of America's enemies. "Well its not a missile, and its not in shuttle Atlantis's flight path. Just another unlucky rock which crossed Earths orbit at the wrong time. The sixth one this week" he noted. "Enjoy your fiery death space rock, I hope the people of Maine make a wish."

"A mysterious blue police box that shows up throughout history. English playing a prank in time? Up next on Sick Sad World!" An intrigued Jane looked up from her painting to glance at the TV in her room. "I'll have to keep and eye out for one of those." Daria, her concentration broken by Jane's voice, looked up from her report she was writing. "Keep an eye out for what?" She asked. "A time travelling blue box. I bet you we could hitch a ride, and cause mischief in the past." Jane replied excitedly. "Ah yes," Daria said flatly "we can go back to when the first creature walked out of the ocean and step on it. Thus saving the Earth from the inevitable rise of man, and reports about the stupidity of man." Jane looked over and replied "Oh but then I wouldn't get to see your cheery self everyday." While giving Daria a wry smile.

"This report on the War of 1812 is getting a little tiresome. I almost can't believe these events are true. Do you want to get some pizza?" Daria asked. "Sure, might as well get out on this fine Saturday. Just a sec." Jane replied then put a nice red streak on a seemingly random part of her abstractish painting of a grey man driving. "There, perfect!" Daria just raised an eyebrow while looking at Janes painting. "Do I want to ask?" she stated, to which Jane replied. "Its a painting about the bleakness of driving to and from work your whole life till you die, or die when you crash into a semi. One of the two." Jane offhandedly replied. Daria added as they left her room. "You should sell it to the school for drivers ed class. That way the soon to be drivers will know what they're getting into."

As they went downstairs to leave Casa Lane, they saw Trent open the front door from the outside. He was holding a bag from the Grab and Save on the corner. "Hey Trent what's up." Jane said. He replied in his distinctly slow dialect. "Just got back from the convenience store with snacks for practice. Some blond was trying to buy magnesium from the place and held up the line." He looked up for a second and horsley sang "She held up the line, we're all out of time. Hmmm cool." Jane replied sarcastically "Magnesium? Kids these days." Daria locked eyes with Trent for a moment and just as the shyness gripped her she just managed to eke out "Yes kids." instead of the witty reply she wanted to say, and then quickly glanced away. Trent was still too engrossed in possible song lyrics to notice. As he moved to go down stairs he just said "Yeah there's gotta be something in the water."

Later over pizza Jane mentions, "You know its kinda early to be working on that report. Its due like a week from now." Daria looked up from her pizza and replied, "My high standards prevent me from starting on it at the last minute." Daria added. "When are you doing yours?" Jane thought about it for second "I don't know. Night before maybe? I think I have a half page somewhere. That's the war with Lincoln right?" Daria rolled her eyes "Looks like another D for you." she replied. Jane unconcerned for her grade or any other conventions of "The Man" just changed the subject and said. "Man, whatever they make this cheese out of must come from heaven. It's awesome." Daria dryly replied. "Yes, the best cheese with a 3 year shelf life I've ever had." Maybe they put magnesium in it." Jane replied. "We better find that girl Trent mentioned and let her know about the magnesium cheese." Daria almost shuddered "Sorry I've reached my maximum dose of crazy for the time being."

Once the pizza was finished, they left and started walking home. It was getting close to nine and so it had been dark for hours. About half way to Casa Lane, Jane got a feeling that they were being followed. "Daria I think we're being followed." she whispered. Daria sighed, "Great, getting murdered on the way home from pizza. What a way to go." Daria replied as she got her keys out and arrayed each key between her fingers like she was shown in a self defense class. Jane carefully glanced back, and she saw a pretty blond woman with a tall petite body much like Quinns annoying friend Sandi. She had seen her a few turns ago and she was still walking at their pace 10 feet behind them. "Oh I think its a fashion club reject stalking us" Jane said somewhat relieved. Daria put her keys back in her pocket relieved when she heard a few sniffing noises coming from the girl behind her. The women then strangely said "Magnesium!"

"Great why are we the lucky ones," Jane retorted as the women approach closer. Daria was about to make a sardonic comment when the women quickly closed the distance between them and said, "I need your magnesium, give it too me." She then stuck out her hand in a forceful way. Daria and Jane stopped walking. Just amazed at it all Daria said flatly "What the hell is going on, and no! I don't have any magnesium on me." To which the women replied menacingly "I can smell it on you" and then in an oddly deeper less women like voice. "Give it to me." Daria and Jane just stood dumbfounded at the non human voice and mannerisms of the blond women.

Just then, all three were surprised by a metallic ding from behind. The sound of quickly approaching steps drew their attention from their standoff to a young man with wavy brown hair in his mid to late 20's in a brown suit coat and a red bowtie. He ran up and authoritatively said in a british accent. "There you are! I've been looking all over for you. For ages, well not quite that long, but long enough." He then pointed at the blond in a rather annoyed manner. "You're the Traxaxian who's been lurking around looking for magnesium." Then his expression changed from serious to confused in an instant. "Who just carries around magnesium anyway? Not a lot of use for it, unless you're making pyrotechnics. But I suppose somebody would." The blond interrupted his monologue with "I'm not an alien." In a human sounding voice, while trying to look innocent. "I'm just lost and asking for directions." The man in the brown coat just waved a finger at her and said "Ah no no no you're definitely an alien, and do you know how I know?" he waved a hand held device of some kind with an antenna on one end, while doing a spin in place excitedly. "With this!" he said. "It scans DNA within a 20 meter radius and goes ding when it detects non human DNA. It also downloads comic books from the future, I just don't know when to stop." The device then went ding rather loudly. Daria just looked on with an eyebrow raised and thought. "Who is this idiot?" Jane just looked at it rather intently and asked "Did you get that at Sharper Image?" "No!" the man said turning his head toward her slightly offended. "I built it ages ago! Saved Great Queen Elizabeth the First with it from the Zygons, and then became the king of England for a bit." He beamed.

Daria disbelieving everything for a moment just said. "Trent was right somethings definitely in the water, none of this can be happening." "Anyway." the strange man said "You are coming with me. Gotta get you off this planet before you cause more trouble." The blond took a step back and got better footing on the sidewalk. Her eyes glowed red and she said in a guttural voice. "I'm going nowhere! You will die with these pathetic creatures in the name of the Traxaxian Empire." With that, a shell of energy erupted from the blonds body which knocked Daria, Jane and the strange englishman off their feet to the ground. "Ok" the englishman said with a surprised look on his face, "Time to run." He then jumped to his feet and ran across the street toward a corner. Jane and Daria got up and followed suit. Daria wasn't exactly sure why she was trying to keep up with the strange man but he seemed to know what's going on. Plus following him is preferable to dying for the Traxaxian Empire.

They crossed the street and rounded a corner just in time to see the man run up to a blue british police box which was just sitting on the sidewalk. He quickly grabbed a key from his pocket and opened the door. "Hurry before it gets here." the englishman said while frantically waving them over. Jane was in the middle of saying, 'We're not all going to fit….." just as she and Daria ran in. They stood inside the entryway stunned. Behind them was the two wooden doors of the police box, but the inside of the police box was a large two story circular rather retro futuristic room with what looked like a control console on a raised platform in the center, and corridors branching off. The whole thing was darkly lit by various lights from the ceiling. The strange englishman closed the doors and then ran between Daria and Jane to the console in the center of the circular room and started to manipulate the various knobs and levers. The whole thing looked rather rube goldberg. "Its bigger in here" Jane confusingly said. Daria nodded "Indeed" as both were looking around.


	2. Chapter 2- Its bigger on the inside

The strange man flipped some switches and pulled a lever and rolled his eyes at Janes comment. "They always say that." then added, "Welcome to the TARDIS!" as the whole room made a mechanical wheezing noise which lasted about 30 seconds then stopped. Jane looked up and asked, "Whats a tardis, and what was that noise?" The man replied, "It's my spaceship slash time machine slash home. The noise was it hurtling through the time vortex." While he studied a monitor on a swivel mount on the central column, Jane walked over and looked at the screen. "Wow!" she exclaimed upon seeing all the various clockwork shaped symbols spinning on the screen. Daria thought for a moment, then calmly walked to the center console, and grabbed the supposed alien detecting device the man had used on the blond. She studied it for a second and noticed how cobbled together it looked. Like a radio Shack exploded, and this was the result. She then held it toward the englishman and pressed the button on it. The device lit up and went ding. He looked from the screen rather surprised to see her holding it at him. She then looked at the surprised man with a serious face, "Your an alien too."

Jane was watching the whole thing and with a sarcastic tone said, "Oh great now we've been abducted by an alien, or are their more aliens in this thing?" as she glanced around expecting swarms of strange british sounding aliens to jump out at her. "You're not going to replace our skin with polymer like Arny from the pizza place are you. If so" she pointed at Daria, "Start with Daria." The strange man glanced at Daira and then Jane with a confused look as Daria replied "Gee thanks Jane." He then just looked up and mumbled "Polymer skin? Why would you…..? Never mind Hello." He smiled and waved "I'm The Doctor." Jane asked with an eyebrow raised "Dr?... Dr who?" Daria just said "Aliens and doctors, great! Two things I can live without." "Nope" the Doctor said, "Just the Doctor, and you are?" "I'm Jane, and little miss sunshine over there is Daria." Jane replied. Daria adjusted her glasses and glanced around the room. "So are there more of you here, and why do you look human?" Daria asked. "No, just me." the Doctor said "Last of the Timelords, and I don't look human, you look Timelord." "Timelords? So you rule over time or something?" Jane asked to which Daria continued "Last? "Yes, Last." the Doctor said in a dismissing manner. "Long story and we don't have time." He looked at a screen on a swivel mount on the console and asked to nobody in particular. "So where are we?" Jane replied "Lawndale… maybe?"

"No" the Doctor then rambled, "Tralax 3 it about 5400 light years from Earth. It's nice planet full of humanoid reptilians. They're a bit on the shady side though, but who's keeping score." Jane just crossed her arms and quibbed "Oh your blue box is fast." Then her eyes opened wide and she mumbled. "Blue box…. time traveling british blue box. Daria! This is the blue box from Sick Sad World!" Daria looked at Jane and thought for a second. "That can't be right" she replied dryly. "Only crazy people are on Sick Sad World, plus time travels impossible." "Impossible?!" the Doctor exclaimed as he looked up at her. "Why do people always call things impossible?!" He then began to rant, "I've done more impossible things last month than you've imagined in your whole lifetimes." He went to the wooden doors they had just walked through and threw them both open. Outside in the vastness of space was the planet of Tralax 3, a blueish hazy world with lights from its cities shining on the darkside. "Behold Tralax 3!" he exclaimed in a showman like manner. The Doctor popped his head outside the Police box and said "Hmm, I thought we would be on the surface though. Bloody navigations acting up again." Daria somewhat shocked, nervously asked, "How is it all the air hasn't been sucked out of here?" The Doctor looked back and casually waved his hand outside. "Oh this? The Tardis projects a field to extend the atmosphere a few meters outside. Keeps the air in. Perfectly safe... mostly." The Doctor let Daria and Jane walk over and look outside. After a few minutes of awe they backed away and he closed the doors. Daria just sat down a bit overwhelmed while the Doctor went over to the console in the center of the room. Jane then excitedly started jumping up and down shouting. "We're going to be crazy people on Sick Sad World!"

"Right…. "The Doctor said while looking at Janes excited jumping. He then flipped some switches and the Tardis shuddered as it came to rest on something solid. He walked back to the doors and opened one to peak out at the alien city with all its skyscrapers, shops, and flying cars. He then looked back and shouted, "We're here!" Daria and Jane stepped outside with the Doctor and looked at the Traxaxians, a race of humanoid lizard who were milling around buying things, and going about their day. "Oh Daria look, lizard people! So they do exist." Jane mentioned. "Shouldn't we be dealing with the weird blond alien in Lawndale?" wondered Daria out loud. The Doctor replied "They are Traxaxian, and we are dealing with the blond one. We just need something from their home world." "So do they like shape shift or something?" Jane asked. The Doctor looked dismissively, "No, nothing fancy just a little genetic reconfiguration. Pretty old hat stuff." he answered. Daria noted while looking around at the futuristic city, "Last I saw these people didn't seem to happy to see us, are they just going to start shooting or glowing their eyes or something." "Naw." The Doctor confidently replied. "They get alien visitors all the time. There are probably loads of them around here somewhere, and if they do ask, just act like you're supposed to be here." He looked at Daria directly. "Failing that, just do what I do. Talk really fast and failing that run."

"I feel better already." Daria muttered as they started down the street. Jane looked back at the police box. "So are we just leaving that there?" The Doctor replied. "Don't worry about it. Its got a perception filter on it, so if you look at it you'll get the urge to look away. Keeps it out of most trouble if they don't know what it is. Even if they did know what it is the Tardis is pretty much impossible to break into. Trust me people have tried." "So what are we looking for exactly?" Daria asked. "We're looking for a nullifier. It's used to counteract the abilities of a trained Tralaxian. They have some latent psychokinetic abilities which their military finds useful. Sometimes they need to prevent people from doing such things so their law enforcement has nullifiers to, wel,l nullify it." "So are we just going to buy one?" Daria asked. The doctor smiled wide and waved in a dismissing manner. "Oh no that would be boring, and I don't have any money anyway. We are just going to nick one."

"So wait you don't get paid? Or does your noble society just not use money." Jane asked "No they did." The Doctor answered. "But why do you need money when you're a time traveler? Besides when I've needed money, I've been able to get some to turn up. Plenty of shoddy financial systems out there. Just a few tweaks here and there is all that's needed." he replied. "So what do you do exactly, and why are you helping us?" Daria questioned. "Mainly for the adventure of it all. Travelling and meeting new people, seeing amazing things. Plus, its just the right thing to do. Looks like we are here." The Doctor turned to face a large official looking multi story building on a street corner. How are we going to get in? Daria asked. "Out back." The Doctor answered "Probably is a service entrance or something." They casually walked around the building to an alley and followed it till they spotted a loading dock. The Doctor took a look around and didn't see anybody around. "Perfect, lets go." They quietly approached the personnel door next to the large loading door. The Doctor tried the door but it didn't open. "Hmm locked. Why do people bother to lock things. Lets try my key." He then pulled a metallic tube shaped device from his pocket and pressed a button while pointing it at the door. A green light flashed on the end of it along with a weird buzzing noise. The keypad next to the door flashed green and they heard a click of the electronic lock disengaging. They opened the door just a crack to peak in.

Inside was a large storage warehouse with shelving that touched the ceiling. On the shelves were various crates and containers. They walked in the door and the Doctor kept looking around the room. "Ah there it is!" he exclaimed. "There's a sensor in the room to scan for intruders." Jane and Daria looked up at the disk shaped device with blue lights around the edges in the center of the ceiling. "Great, intruders like us." Daria said. Jane added, "Maybe it will think we're supposed to be here." The Doctor replied "That hasn't happened yet, would be nice though." He pointed his metallic tube at it and the device sparked once before the lights went out. "There, that should keep them in the dark." "What is that thing?" Daria asked. "This?" The Doctor held up the metallic tube. "Its my sonic screwdriver." "What does it do exactly, besides unlock doors and break security devices?" Jane questioned. The Doctor almost went into a very detailed explanation of what exactly it does but decided to save time and just said. "Oh pretty much everything." Then he frowned a bit. "Well not quite, it doesn't work on wood. I really wish it did. That would've been so useful all those times it didn't." "So its like a techno magic wand." Jane said. "No no no. thats just silly." The Doctor replied. "It's sonic." Then he turned around and walked away. "Doesn't that just clear things up?" Daria added. Jane sarcastically replied as they moved to follow him, "It all makes sense now."

They followed the Doctor to a wall mounted computer and he immediately started fiddling with it. Weird alien text filled the screen. The various shapes and patterns looked beautiful to Janes artistic sense. "What is this place anyway?" Daria asked. The Doctor casually said, "A storage facility for the local law enforcement." "What!" both Daria and Jane exclaimed. "You mean we just broke into a police department?" Jane gasped. "Oh course!" The Doctor matter of factly explained. "It's not like they'd ever expect that. We just nip in, grab the nullifier, and nip out. Piece of cake, and looky here." He pointed to a particular squiggly bunch of text, "There's one two rows down and to the left." Daria Looked a the alien symbol and then walked down to that row. She walked down the shelving and matched up the symbol he pointed at to a small briefcase sized container on the shelf. She grabbed it and rounded the corner back to a very surprised Doctor. "This it?" she asked. "Yes it is. Very good" The Doctor replied smiling. Jane added, "Well, over achieving is in her nature." "Now now, none of that." The Doctor replied. Just then the security disk on the ceiling made a noise. Its lights came back on, and a loud alarm sounded.


	3. Chapter 3 - Out of the fire

The doctor looked up at it somewhat annoyed. "Damn, that was quicker than I thought it would be. Time to run." They headed off toward the door they had come in through and tried to open it, but it had relocked itself. Before the Doctor could get his sonic screwdriver out, another door opened to the right. Four Traxaxians in security gear ran into the room, and leveled what looked like rifles at them. "Oh we're so screwed." Jane said. The Doctor then just said to them in an authoritative voice while flashing a blank ID card holder at them. "Inspector from the head office. Did you know that your security systems not up to code?" One of the security guards held up a hand held device and said into it, "We've secured the Doctor and his companions. What are your orders?" A second later The Doctor, Daria and Jane heard a voice reply, "Kill them! Kill the Doctor and his friends." The Doctors eyes went wide and yelled at his stunned companions. "Quickly this way!"

The Doctor took off around one of the corners to an aisle quickly followed by Daria and Jane, just in time to dodge a hail of purple energy bolts. Jane yelled as she ran, "Why are they trying to kill us? We just stole some stupid case?" The Doctor just yelled back "I haven't a clue, its very odd." He then took another right around the rows of shelves. Luckily the area was packed with stored goods so there were plenty of things to block the guards view of them. They came to a door which lead deeper in the building. He looked around the immediate area and noticed an alcove with crates in it. The Doctor pointed towards the alcove turned to Daria and Jane, "Quickly hide there!" He then grabbed his sonic screwdriver out of his coat pocket as they hid and used it to open the door. The Doctor quietly hid next to the two girls. Guards rounded the corner just to see the door close and lock. They ran up to the door and Daria saw one of them enter a code into the keypad. The door opened, and they ran through it.

Daria asked as they emerged from hiding. "What's going on here? They knew your name and tried to shoot you." "Yeah you're not wanted for, like, space murder are you?" Jane asked. The Doctor sighed as they walked to the back door. "You don't disrupt the great designs of the various malevolents for centuries without getting noticed. Though, I thought I took care of the unwanted attention I gained." "Centuries?" Jane asked surprised then added, "How long have you been traveling?" The Doctor looked back at her. Though his face was young she could see the pain in his eyes. They were the kind of eyes that have seen terrible things. "I'm around 1200 years old." He chuckled, "I don't quite remember my exact age." Daria looked at him rather surprised at what she just heard. "Why is it just you doing these things? Isn't there anybody else who can do it?" "No there isn't." The Doctor said. "My people used to keep a lid on things, but they went bad and ended up getting annihilated in an orgy of violence of their own choosing." He looked at them both with sad eyes. "I'm the only thing standing in the way of all the dark forces in the universe. Terrible people and things have came after the Earth, and the galaxy over the years, and I've stood in their way. I'll keep doing it as long as I can. It can be messy and lonely at times, but it must be done." Daria just looked at the ground. "Sorry for yelling at you for, um saving us." Jane added, "Yeah after all, it's not like we actually got shot, or anything"

The Doctor's mood did a 180 and he smiled. "Now now, none of that, besides things are looking up. We've found the door." He rounded a corner and there was the door they came in. He used his sonic on it, but it didn't open. "Damn! Oh come on don't not work now!" He exasperated. "It's dead locked, we can't open it from here. We'll have to go deeper in and find a way to disable the security. "Deeper?" Jane replied fearfully. While the Doctor went on about how going deeper in the building will be just fine, Daria walked to the door and entered the code she saw the guard type in. The door opened. Daria then sarcastically said to a surprised Doctor, "As much fun as that sounds how about we just be boring for a change, and just get out of here instead." The Doctor said without missing a beat, "Sounds good." With that they walked back out onto the alley street.

"Ok lets just act natural as we leave, so we don't attract attention." The Doctor said as they tried to calmly walk back to the Tardis. Daria glanced over and saw various pedestrians just staring at them. "Oh yes not get noticed, I've spent my entire life doing that but darn its not working here." Jane added trying to lighten the mood. "Well. in their defense, you haven't actually had the chance to talk them out of wanting to talk to you yet." The Doctor just chuckled a bit at Janes statement. "There was once a time when I had the same idea." Jane was about to ask him how that worked out when they heard a distorted electronic voice behind them. "THE DOCTOR IS DETECTED!" The three looked back at what to Daria and Jane looked like some sort of pepper shaker shaped robot. With a single blue eye on a short stock, what looks like a plunger on its midsection flanked by a gun tube. "Daleks?!" The Doctor exclaimed, "What devil are Daleks doing on Talax 3?"

"THE DOCTOR WILL SURRENDER!" The Dalek said in a slow annoying electronic voice. "Wow!" Jane said. "Somebody needs to get it's voice fixed." The Doctor replied to Jane, "We'll probably die of old age before they finish speaking and get around to shooting us." "What are you doing here on Talax 3?" He then said to the Dalek. "THE DOCTOR WILL NOT ASK QUESTIONS THE DOCTOR WILL SURRENDER!" He then replied "So, you're taking us to your ship then." "YES! THE DOCTOR WILL SURRENDER!" The Dalek replied. "See that means they have a ship here. Lets go find it and see what they're up too." The Doctor said. He then started running down the street towards the Tardis. Jane and Daria followed while the Dalek protested and then fired a few shots at them before they got away.

Once they got inside the Tardis, Daria and Jane held onto a railing to catch their breath. "What was that thing?" a startled Daria asked. Jane added "Who makes a robot with a voice like that." The Doctor walked over to the console and said, "Thats no robot. Its a self contained armored suit for a race of highly xenophobic aliens. They look like shrivelled up squids, and they're one of the most dangerous races in the universe. I've fought them numerous times." Jane added, "That must be why the Traxaxian recognized you and started shooting." "Yes, they are not too happy with me, what with the whole trying to wipe them out before they destroyed the universe after the last great time war." "Wait you tried to wipe them out?" Daria looked on with a look of surprise. "You don't understand." The Doctor said "Their goal is to wipe out all non-Dalek life in the universe. They nearly succeeded so I had no choice. There's little bands of them here and there. We need to find their ship and find out what they're up too. I suspect the Traxaxians on Earth is the result of Dalek meddling." "So now I guess its time we start meddling back." Jane said with a smile. "Exactly!" The Doctor said as he threw a lever on the console.


	4. Chapter 4 - Winging it

From the outside the Tardis went from sitting perfectly still with nobody noticing it, to moving vertically at a high rate of speed. A vapor cone formed around it as it broke the sound barrier. Seconds later a ball of fire enveloped the Tardis like a rising comet due to air friction building up as it hit hypersonic speeds. Within minutes it was clear of the atmosphere and in orbit. "Well then, that should get their attention. A nice old fashion ascent to orbit. Not as flashy as a rocket but should still get noticed by every sensor system on this side of the planet, just like I planned." The Doctor said while rubbing his hands together. "You want to get noticed?" Daria gasped then Jane added "Wow, do you makes plans often because this isn't encouraging." The Doctor just looked at her with an air of confidence and bravado. "Of course, its part of the plan to flush out the Daleks. If theres one thing they can't resist, its getting the chance to try to kill me." With that, the Tardis was rocked by an impact. Some sparks showered from the ceiling. "Haha!" The Doctor shouted, "Just in time." He looked at the screen and could see a Saucer shaped Dalek ship approaching. It was busy firing away at the Tardis. Most shots were missing due to the Tardis's tiny size relative to the city sized Dalek ship. Jane just looked at it on the screen and uttered. "Guess I don't have won't to worry about college now."

Another impact hit the Tardis almost knocking Jane and Daria off their feet. "Now what?" Daria shouted as the Doctor worked the controls. "Oh, just dodging fire while finding a place to land and looking for a weak spot on the ship. Plus, we need to lead the ship away from the planet." The Doctor replied while furiously working. "Why do you need to get away from the planet?" Jane asked while holding on to a rail. "I don't want a disabled Dalek ship falling on semi innocent people," the Doctor responded in a rather matter-of-fact tone. He kept the Tardis just inside the Dalek ships weapons range and his speed just below the Daleks top speed. Occasional weapon impacts would send the Tardis spinning and throw sparks around the console room. After a few tense minutes, Daria and Jane fell to the floor as a cloud of smoke flooded the room. A particularly hard impact set off some alarm on the console squawking. Whether it was the smoke or the impact, Daria wasn't sure. "Whats that noise mean?" Daria asked coughing as they stood back up and grabbed a rail. The Doctor looked at the redlined shield output indicator which indicated zero and replied matter of factly, "Oh, it means were far enough away." He then pulled a lever and the distinctive mechanical wheezing noise filled the room. Once it stopped, all was quiet, and the smoke cleared. Daria and Jane looked around and asked, "Where are we?" "Oh, we're just in the Dalek ship away from anything that might notice us for the time being," the Doctor replied.

"So what brilliant plan do you have now?" Jane inquired half smiling as she was starting to enjoy the excitement. Daria just thought, "Great, we're on a ship with a swashbuckling madman which is inside an even bigger ship with omnicidal aliens." She turned her head to face Jane and asked her, "You're enjoying this aren't you?" Jane just answered, "Beats homework and Lawndale high school BS." Daria replied sarcastically, "Yes, the threat of certain death is almost as bad as high school." The Doctor just smiled and said, "Wow, the sarcasm's strong with you two I see." He then clapped once and continued, "So here's the plan, we're going to find the main computer and disable it. Or possibly, I might try to delete myself from the database, and then maybe disrupt their communications while I'm at it. But then we need to find the engines, and overload them or free the hamster or whatever." Jane and Daria looked at him with a disbelieving look and Jane asked, "So how are we going to do all of that?" The Doctor ran up to the doors opened one, looked back and said, "We will just have to worry about that when the time comes. Come along girls," he waved.

Daria looked at the inside of the Dalek ship. Unlike human ships or even ships in sci fi,

there were no creature comforts. Dim lighting and just endless industrial grey corridors with triangular doors. "Aren't you worried about running into the Daleks?" Daria asked. "Not really, there's not a lot of them left, and this ship is the size of a city. It's probably undermanned," the Doctor replied. The trio walked a ways without seeing any Daleks, and then the Doctor stopped at what looked like a maintenance hatch on a wall. Infact, Daria was surprised to see that she could read the labeling on it. "Access Junction" it said. "How come I can read this she asked?" "Oh that? The Doctor said, "Its the translation circuit in the Tardis. It'll translate things in and around it automatically." He then opened the junction with his sonic screwdriver. After he walked in the narrow corridor he motioned back at them. "This way," he said. "They use these tunnels for maintenance so there is a lesser chance we'll run into one." They could see the bare innards of the ship in the access corridor. Pipes, cabling, and even the bare frame of the ship. The Doctor appeared to be following a specific two inch thick bundle of cable through the maze of corridors. After a few minutes the cable stopped at a wall with what looks like the inside of the access junction door. "Ok, the main computer should be right on the other side of this door. The room might be manned so lets keep quiet," the Doctor whispered. He then carefully opened the door and just peaked in. He saw just one Dalek monitoring a bank of consoles.

The Doctor took his sonic screwdriver and activated it while pointing into the corridor adjacent to the room. The Dalek heard a noise and left to investigate. Once the room was empty the Doctor left the corridor and ran over to the doorway where the Dalek had left. He closed the door and locked it with the sonic screwdriver. "Good luck getting back in!" he laughed. Daria and Jane looked around the room. There were what looked like touchscreen monitors on the walls, and free standing circular consoles. In the room itself, there were what looked like black floor to ceiling pillars with green circuit traces that wrapped around them. Various lights blinked with activity. The Doctor walked over to a circular console and started typing. He then looked up at Daria and Jane and said, "Around here somewhere is the main override. We need to disable that so they can't use manual control once we dismantel the main computer." Jane and Daria looked around the column filled room. Jane looked on in amazement at the circuit patterns on the columns. The traces were very fine. She was looking at the base of one when out of the corner of her eye she noticed a panel all by itself on the wall to her right. She walked over and "Computer Control Override" was written on it. She opened the panel and saw a green button on the panel. "Found it." Jane said. The Doctor just replied, "Good job." But stayed where he was at and continued working on the console. Daria walked over and looked it over. "So how do we disable that?" She said. Jane shrugged and replied questioningly, "Rip it out?"

Jane pulled out her keys and jabbed one in a gap between the panel the override was mounted on and the surrounding metal. After working the key around she managed to get the front panel lose. Once it was loose, she grabbed it with both hands and yanked hard on it. A bundle of fiber optic wire ripped free from the circuit board underneath it. She grinned at Daria "Piece of cake." She then closed the access panel to hide her work. They walked back over to the Doctor. "I disabled the manual override." Jane said. "Ah good." he said as he looked at the override panel in her hand. "Ripped it right off the wall very nice. Go throw it in the access corridor, they'll never find it in time." She walked off to the access hatch and Daria looked at the Doctor and asked, "So how is it going?" He looked at her and said, "Sorry?" She replied, "Disabling the computer." Oh he said, "Yes, yes getting to that. First I'm deleting all info regarding me from their computer network. Life was lot easier when they had no idea who I was." "So you've done that before." Daria replied. "Yes I got a bit too big and known. Caused a lot of headaches, can't have that again." he said with a hint of sorrow in his eyes.

Jane was walking back from the other side of the room when a door opened and a Dalek came through. It's head swiveled to point its eye stock right at her and she saw its gun barrel moving her way as it shrieked, "INTRUDER!" Jane jumped out of the way as 3 blue bolts shot into a couple of columns in the back of the room. The Doctor and Daria looked up at the Dalek as it noticed them and moved to attack. "Time to run." The Doctor shouted. Daria just sarcastically muttered, "Hurrah more running from death," as she took off. As the Doctor and Daria ran toward Jane who was by a door, the Dalek tried to lead them as it fired. Fortunately for the Doctor, it missed and managed to knock out most of the computer columns while doing so, filling the room with smoke. Just as they reached the door, one of the Daleks last shots hit the back wall and damaged the power grid. All three could see the lines overload and all of the still functioning columns went black. They then ran out the door into a corridor. The Doctor waved his sonic screwdriver around in a circle. "The engineroom is this way!" the Doctor said shouting over the alert. The three then ran down a corridor to the right of the computer room.

After running for a few minutes, they rounded a corner and could see the entrance to the engine room. The door looked larger than the other triangular shaped ones. They saw it open and ducked behind another doorway. Jane and Daria held their breath as the Daleks moved into the corridor. Luckily, the Daleks turned left, away from them. Once they were out of sight the three moved to the engine room door. It had no windows and appeared to be locked. With a swipe of his screwdriver, the Doctor took care of the lock. He looked back at Daria and Jane. "Be ready for anything." he said. They nodded. He then hit the control to open the door. The room was huge. It was at least 6 decks tall and dominated by a huge fifty foot in diameter ball of swirling black energy, with tendrils of electricity illuminating it. As they walked in it appeared to be suspended in the ship via a ring around its equator and four additional panels sticking out from the walls and projecting a semi invisible forcefield around it. They could see one Dalek near the edge looking at a console on the safety rail facing the black sphere. To the left and right of them were unattended console banks with displays monitoring the spheres characteristics. The deck they were on didn't appear to connect to the deck on the otherside. In the center of the room was a 3 by 4 foot antigrave cart that was just floating there. It had various mechanical tools and diagnostic devices on it. The Doctor smiled as he walked in and then ran to the cart. covering the distance in almost an instant. He pushed it toward the Dalek who has just started to turn its eye stalk toward them. The cart was semi self propelled so it amplified the force which the Doctor was exerting. Once it slammed into the dalek, he let go and let physics take over. The cart pushed the heavy Dalek through the railing and both fell toward the ring suspended about the equator of the sphere. As it hit the dalek exploded and a quarter of the ring broke away. In that instant the cart, and ring fragment were pulled into the sphere. Both were ripped apart by from what Daria could only assume would be strong gravity tides.

A new alarm bellowed around them "Warning Engine Containment Failure!" Daria looked at the Doctor and asked, "Is that what I think it is?' He looked at her and replied, "It's an artificial singularity. A black hole if you will. They use it to power the engines and the pretty lights. That ring and those projectors keep it nice and safe." The Doctor walked toward the consoles along the walls. "Is it going to fail or explode or whatever it does?" Jane asked worried. The Doctor looked back at her as he started pushing buttons on the panel, and replied, "It will implode, like an explosion but in reverse. Very bad really, I don't recommend it. But it won't do that just yet. No, no, we have to help it along first." "Then we run right?" Daria asked. "Oh yes, run like the wind or like a giant singularity is about to gobble up the ship." The Doctor answered. Daria and Jane could see other Daleks on the other levels trying to figure out the problem. Just as they seemed to stop panicking, they could see the projectors overload with sparks flying everywhere. The Doctor stopped pressing buttons on the console. He smiled and said, "Always amazes me when the controls allow you to send more power to things than they can manage." He then took out his sonic screwdriver, pointed it at the console row and walked down it toward the door. Each console overloaded and went dark as sparks and the smell of fried electronics waffed into the air. "Come along girls, somebody is going to have a very bad day."

Daria and Jane were a bit taken aback as they followed him. "This guy is something else." Jane said in awe. Daria replied, "I think this isn't the first ship he's single handedly destroyed." As they began to run down the corridor back to the Tardis, Jane added, "Well, good thing he's on our or rather the Earth's side." They ran by some daleks but they didn't show any interests in stopping them. They were obviously worried about getting off the ship first. Once they got to the alcove they hid the Tardis in they, opened the doors and ran inside. The Doctor ran over to the console in the center of the room and started to manipulate the controls just as the Tardis started to shudder. "Its starting!" he frantically said. He then grabbed a lever and pulled it. The Tardis appeared in space far away from the Dalek ship. The doors on it opened and the Doctor, Daria and Jane looked out at the Dalek ship. They saw the middle collapse in on itself followed by the rest of the ship leaving just the naked singularity. That soon faded away slowly. "What's happening to it?" Jane asked. The Doctor answered, "It's too small in mass to sustain itself. It'll fade away. Now, next stop Lawndale! We have a Traxaxian to deal with." Jane closed the doors of the Tardis as the Doctor walked back to the console.

The Tardis appeared in Earth orbit 300 miles directly over the state of Maine. The Doctor, Jane and Daria were huddled around the screen attached to the console. The Doctor had just finished wiring up his alien detector into the Tardis's systems. "There, we should be able to pick her up any second now," he exclaimed after fiddleing with a few knobs. They watched the screen zoom in on the town of Lawndale. It showed a map of the town, blue lines on a black background. The various people of Lawndale showed up as blue dots, but a red one was visible on the map. "Yes.. There we go." The Doctor said excitedly while zooming in. Daria looked at the map and her eyes widened at the location of the Traxaxian. "Oh no." she uttered.

The slim blond Traxaxian stood in front of a red brick two story house. She looked at a Lawndale high ID card and read of off it. "Daria Morgendorffer." She then grinned evilly and walked to the door. Helen was sitting at the table talking to her boss about a case while Jake was just watching TV in the living room, sipping a martini. As Helen was stating in an annoyed voice, "Sorry Eric, that case is immoral and unethical I won't do it! Oh what? Is that true you say? Oh, well, thats different then." They heard a knock come from the front door. Jake stood up and walked over to the door. He opened it expecting another of Quinns dates and looked at the slim blond girl who was standing there. "Your not here for Quinn are you?" he asked. "No, I'm here to see Daria, she has my magnesium and the Doctor." She replied in a strange voice. Jake tried to process what she just said and just uttered, "I really don't know my daughters at all." The blond grimaced in annoyance and pushed Jake out of the way with uncharacteristic strength. "Out of the way mammalian meat bag."

Helen looked up and quickly said on the phone, "I'll have to call your back. Something's going on." She hung up on Eric before he could protest. Then she walked over to the entry way past a stunned Jake. "What the hell's going on here?" She said in lawyer mode. The blond looked at her and replied, "Hand over the one known as Daria, and the Doctor. They have magnesium." Helen looked at her sternly and replied menacingly, "I'm calling the police you crack head." She went to dial and the blond girls eyes turned a soft red glow. A bolt of red energy left her outstretched hand and melted the phone. Helen and Jake backed off a few feet defensively. Jakes eyes went wide and he shouted, "My god! Atomic communist do exist!" Helen rolled her eyes, "Oh god Jake." Then all three were momentarily thrown off guard by a mechanical wheezing noise which accompanied the slow appearance of a blue police call box in the living room.

The doors of it swung open. Jane ran out, and took a swing at the blond connecting on the side of her head, knocking her down. Daria then walked out calmly as ever, and held up a silver soup can sized device. She glared at the blond, and pressed the button. A blue light enveloped the blond freezing her in stasis. Daria then said, "There. No more trouble from you." Helen and Jake stunned by it all just looked on as a man in a brown suit jacket and red bow tie walked out of the police box smiling and congratulated the girls, "Well done, you both have bagged your first alien invader." "Now what?" Jane asked to which the Doctor responded, "Oh, I'll take her back to Tralax 3 and drop her off with the authorities. Then probably convince them to never ever come here again." Daria asked, "Like you convinced the Daleks?" " No." The Doctor said, "They probably won't need that much convincing."

Helen was the first to speak, "What is going on here? Are you an alien or a cop? Daria what are you doing with that thing in your hand? Jake say something!" "Uh, nice right hook Jane." He replied not sure what to say. The Doctor walked up to Helen, and showed her his blank ID card. "Special agent from the Ministry of Defence. Here to apprehend this sod and take her away. Ran into your daughter, and her friend. Their assistance was quite useful." Helen looked at the ID that he had flashed, and it did look like a foreign ID but was a bit fuzzy. She then looked at his blue police box and noticed the doors were open to a very large room. On that couldn't possibly fit into the small space. She then looked down at the blond encased in a forcefield of some kind. She glared at the Doctor with her arms on her hips having none of his nonsense. "What kind of idiot do you think I am?! You better explain yourself right now mister!" She said in her best lawyer voice which made Jake flinch. The Doctor taken aback by Helens harsh tone. He glanced at Daria and said, "I guess I know where you get your smarts and wit from."

"Hello I'm the Doctor," the Doctor said smiling at Helen. "I'm a Timelord. I quite fancy your planet and the wonderful people who live on it so I tend to try to keep it out of trouble." "Ack an alien!" Jake half shouted wide eyed. Helen quickly said, "Jake calm down of course he's an alien do you really think the British have teleporting spaceships!" The Doctor then continued, "Your daughter, and her friend ran into a very annoyed Traxaxian so I saved them from getting vaporised. We've just spent the last day or so finding out what they want and what to do about it." Jane added, "Running, there were lots of running involved." "Vaporized?!" Jake said still wide eyed. The Doctor offhandedly replied, "No worries I showed up in the nick of time." Helen looked confused, "But you've only been gone for two hours." To which Daria replied, "The fact that he's a Timelord might have something to do with that." Jake looked at the police box and said excitedly, "Hey its bigger on the inside! Where did you get that thing?" The Doctor smiled at the bigger on the inside comment, and then said, "Oh this old thing? I nicked it from a repair shop on Gallifrey years ago. Love to stay and chat, but I have places to go. Probably should drop you off on the way." He looked at the blond woman. Jane asked looking a bit sad, "Are we going to see you again?" Daria tried not to look hopeful that this wasn't the last of the Doctor but her expression gave her away. The Doctor moved the Traxaxian into the Tardis. After that he looked back and smiled, "You both were marvelous. I'm sure I'll see you around sometime." With that he closed the doors and a few seconds later the Tardis made its distinctive mechanical wheezing noise, and just like that he was gone. Daria just looked at her parents and said, "Been a long day so I'll tell you all about it tomorrow." Jane added, "Going to crash here tonight if you don't mind." With that Daria and Jane walked up stairs, and Jake looked at Helen half stunned. He asked, "Martini?" She smiled and said, "After this sure why not."


End file.
